Early Bird

I’ve become a morning person.

I’m not sure how it happened. Not that long ago, my entire weekend was planned around sleeping in as much as possible. And it WAS possible. Then. But not now.

As any parent will tell you, kids mess up your sleep. At first, when they are wee and screaming, they just rob you of it completely (not their fault really, they’re tiny and helpless). Then, as they get older and craftier, they slowly give it back  to you in fits and spurts, just enough at a time so that you think life might be getting back to normal….and then they grow out of night time feedings right into the stage where they learn how to climb into your bed at night. And they do this, regularly, for all sorts of reasons:

It’s scary in my room. My toe hurts. I’m thirsty. I need some lip stuff. I have to pee. I don’t like my pj’s. My closet door is open. My butt itches. Mom. Mom! MOM!!!

ARRRGGGHHH! What! I’ll give you anything. Anything! Just go back to bed. You’re scared? Ok fine. Come sleep with me then. I give up.

Things are fine for 10 minutes. Little D snuggles in under the covers in the middle and promptly falls back asleep. “This won’t be so bad”, you think to yourself. You start to doze off…and BAM! Heel to the solar plexus. Troll bogeys! Why do toddlers insist on sleeping perpendicularly? You roll over. Now he’s kicking you in the kidneys instead. Awesome. You gently slide him over to where Big D is snoring away, oblivious to the circus going on at the north end of the bed. Ahhhh, much better.

The next time you wake up, the boy has managed wedge his entire length snugly against you. How did that happen? Awwww, snuggles. You’re thinking, “How lovely! An early morning cuddle, this isn’t so bad”….then BAM! Head butt to the nose.

I give up. There is clearly no room for me in my own bed, I’m going to get up and make some coffee before anyone else wakes up and starts bugging me. Maybe I’ll even get to do the crossword puzzle.

I think I know how I became a morning person now.


One response »

  1. YES! Weekends used to be all about me trying to outsleep the cat. K would keep track of the number of hours I slept. Oh, the good old days. Now…not so much! And somehow my 34″ tall toddler can take up our entire king sized bed on his own.

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