Equal and Opposite: How Newton’s Third Law Applies to Everyday Pregnant Life

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GodfreyKneller-IsaacNewton-1689

To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction: or the forces of two bodies on each other are always equal and are directed in opposite directions.”

For some reason, a high school physics lesson (which I was certain was buried in a dusty corner of my brain along with math and *gag* phys ed class) came to mind as I contemplated various things going on in my life at the moment. Some are pretty awesome, and others not so much. I try not to focus on the less awesome aspects; usually by shifting my thoughts to an equally important, but far more positive point. Equal, but opposite.

Not so good stuff (I promise this is the only time I will make a list of completely self-centred complaints):

  • My immune system has given up entirely to compensate for the parasitism occurring in my uterus; I just recovered from a third bout of stomach-flu plague since being pregnant and am now getting a cold.
  • I bought a new bra, which I have been trying to wear but have decided it is the most uncomfortable bra EVER manufactured and am really wishing it was 1968 so that I could burn it.
  • Heart. Burn.
  • Pretty much uncontrolled weight gain (Excuse me, nurse? I think the scale needs to be calibrated?)
  • Gas. There I said it. Being pregnant makes me gassy (er). Also, being gassy in yoga class is really inconvenient. You would think that with a room full of pregnant women, someone would just let one rip so that we could all relax and follow suit. I just don’t want that “someone” to be me.

Pretty Darn Good Stuff (I shall endeavour to make more lists like this):

  • Lately the baby has been getting really active and the other night was kicking me in my side and making me giggle like a school girl.
  • The reason for the new bra is that I have “grown out” of my old ones. Finally the girls look less like old tube socks and more like nice juicy mangoes.
  • Davin randomly tells me he loves me just about every day. “I love you Mom” he says. And sometimes he adds, “And I also love Power Rangers”. Boys.
  • I get to wear stretchy pants every day and no one looks at me funny.
  • Thankfully I married someone with next to no sense of smell who at least acts as if being outrageously gassy is totally normal. Also, little boys think farting is hilarious. So really it’s a win-win-win.

Really, there is no point in fighting with the Laws of Physics. Embrace them. If you find not-so-good thoughts floating across your mental screen, remember there is an equal, but opposite force out there somewhere to counteract it.

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